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Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has traditionally served as the reliable retreat for daily publications, and writers stay alert to significant toilet tales and key events, particularly within football. Readers were entertained to discover that a prominent writer a famous broadcaster has a West Brom-themed urinal within his residence. Spare a thought regarding the Barnsley supporter who interpreted the restroom a little too literally, and was rescued from a deserted Oakwell post-napping in the lavatory at half-time during a 2015 defeat versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and had lost his mobile phone and his cap,” stated an official from the local fire department. And nobody can overlook during his peak popularity playing for City, the controversial forward visited a nearby college to access the restrooms in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then entered and inquired the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a pupil informed local Manchester media. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds acting like the owner.”

The Lavatory Departure

Tuesday marks 25 years since Kevin Keegan stepped down as England manager after a brief chat in a toilet cubicle alongside FA executive David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback versus Germany during 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the famous old stadium. According to Davies' personal account, his private Football Association notes, he stepped into the wet troubled England locker room immediately after the match, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams motivated, both players begging for the official to reason with Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies located him seated – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, whispering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies tried desperately to salvage the situation.

“Where could we possibly locate for confidential discussion?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with an England manager as players dived into the water. Merely one possibility emerged. The lavatory booths. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past happened in the old toilets of a venue scheduled for destruction. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I secured the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

Consequently, Keegan quit, subsequently confessing he considered his stint as England manager “without spirit”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's a tremendously tough role.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. For better or worse, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are long gone, although a German now works in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Real-Time Coverage

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women's major tournament coverage concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Quote of the Day

“We stood there in a lengthy line, wearing only our undergarments. We were the continent's finest referees, elite athletes, role models, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with strong principles … however all remained silent. We hardly glanced at one another, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with an ice-cold gaze. Mute and attentive” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes officials were once put through by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“How important is a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to oversee the primary team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and provided some branded items, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts on the school grounds with children he anticipated would defeat him. This self-punishing inclination must explain his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|